(For previous communications read here.)
COMMUNICATION 4 (52 Dice, 9 Sweets, 1 Ace)
ATC: JOLLY-ONE. This is Aire Traffic Control. Are you there? It’s been a while since you’ve checked in.SANTA: I read you, Aire Traffic Control. Sorry for the absence, but I’ve had an eventful hour.
ATC: Hey, I’m all pointy ears. It’s been a bit boring around here.
SANTA: People are getting real serious about security these days. In fact, one house I just delivered to had trip lasers crisscrossing all over the living room. Can you believe that?
ATC: Oh my! How did you get past?
SANTA: It took a bit, but I figured it out. I dug through the toys in the sleight and salvaged as many mirrors as I could. I took them from Barbie Dream Houses, starter make-up kits, baby play toys, even a heavily polished toy badge. I strategically placed them in such a way so that when I placed the final mirror, all the beams reflected perfectly from the start to finish sensors, leaving a clear path for me to walk through and leave the presents.
ATC: Wow! Sounds meticulous. I’m glad you studied up on your trigonometry this year.
SANTA: Not to mention my geometry, as well. But it was well worth it. The family had a bookcase filled with books about mythology and legends - that’s what humans think of us, you know. I saw they had a book about vampires and I decided to skim through it to see if could find any clues on how to defeat BS.
ATC: What did you find?
SANTA: I read one tale about a cook whose wife turned out to be a vampire. He obviously couldn’t spend his life with her anymore, but he loved her too much to let her live as the undead. So one night he cooked her favorite dinner and laced it full of garlic, enough to kill her.
ATC: Smart thinking, but a little dark, too.
SANTA: Yes, but the story turned out to be very useful. I wasn’t able to put all the mirrors back in their packages when I was done, so I had to stop at a toy store to pick up some replacements. I was walking through the aisle when Dracula attacked me.
ATC: Dracula! But I didn’t see him on the radar.
SANTA: He must be using stealth, keeping low and to the ground. He probably thinks that’s the best way to sneak up on me, and frankly, it worked. He lunged at me and I was defenseless. I had left all my weapons in the sleigh.
ATC: You carry weapons?
SANTA: A few. Candy Cane Sword. Nerf Gun fitted with armor piercing darts. Those types of things. Anyway, he had me pinned to the ground and I couldn’t wiggle free. I looked around for something to use and all I saw was a set of jacks that had been knocked off their stand and scattered on the floor. That’s when I remembered the story about eating garlic. I didn’t have any garlic, but perhaps the metal jacks would work just the same. I scooped several up in my hand and, when he opened his mouth to sink his fangs into my neck, I shoved them in. The creature swallowed several and started to gag. I pushed him off and, while he was coughing and trying to free the jacks from his throat, I ran for the door.
ATC: Wow! That was close!
SANTA: Oh, I wasn’t free yet. I still had to get to the sleigh, which was hidden behind some bushes, when suddenly there rose a low, guttural growl. I couldn’t see what made the noise, but I still knew what it was. Fenrir, the giant wolf who has been known to travel with the Vampiric Lord. I had no idea where he was, but I could hear him. I only had one chance and that was to take my jingle bells and throw them as far as I could away from the sleigh. Hopefully, the animal would think it was me and chase after them. He is basically a dog, after all. It worked. The wolf jumped from around the corner of the building and ran toward the bells. I wasted no time getting to the sleigh and commanding the team to lift off. Fenrir couldn’t fly, but Dracula could. We had to put as much distance between us as we could before he could continue the chase.
(Faintly in the background, Peppermint hears music coming over Santa’s mic.)
ATC: What is that?
SANTA: It’s music. It seems to be coming from a nearby radio tower.
(The music grows and Peppermint recognizes it as “Carol of the Bells” as performed by Trans-Siberian Orchestra.
ATC: Ah, that’s nice. You’ll have some traveling music for a little . . . hold on. There’s a blip on my radar! Oh reindeer droppings! You have a bogey at 2 o’clock!
SANTA: It’s Dracula! He’s descending from the top of the radio tower. Dasher! Dancer! Take evasive maneuvers!
ATC: Get out of there! Fast!
SANTA: (Santa orders the reindeer and keeps Peppermint abreast of the situation as the music swells to its crescendo.) He’s circling around behind us. I’m going to try and outrun him. Left Dasher. Faster! Now right! Blood Sucker must still have full veins. He's getting closer. Quickly team, dive! I’m going to try to lose him in the alleys. We might lose our signal, but I’ll call back as soon as . . .
===============
Roll Results: 5 cards
Ten Spades: Santa is attacked by Dracula in a toy store but is able to get away.
Eat a sweet
Ace Diamonds: Santa finds a book about myths on a bookshelf and learns something helpful about Dracula.
Hold on to the Ace. You win if you collect all four.
Nine Diamonds: You hear the growls of a hound that is after you.
Draw from the tower (6 Eliminated, 46 left)
Eight Spades: Dracula attacks from a radio tower but the music spurs you on.
Eat a sweet
Two Diamonds: A house is guarded by a robust security system.
Draw from the tower (5 Eliminated, 41 left)
--------------------
COMMUNICATION 5 (41 Dice, 7 Sweets, 2 Aces)
SANTA: Ho, Ho, Ho. Peppermint, it’s great to be back in Germany.
ATC: What’s even greater is that we haven’t had any sign of BS since you lost him in Bangkok.
SANTA: The old bat is probably still lost in those alleyways looking for me.
ATC: (Peppermint gives a hearty laugh, hearty for an elf, at least.) So, what’s so great about Germany, Santa?
SANTA: I have great memories of the children here. They’re some of my favorites. Take my last stop, little Gretta. Her grandfather, Hans, lives with them and was sound asleep in the living room chair. When he was just 10 years old, he asked me for a simple board game. If I remember, it was called Gänsespiel. What is so memorable is that it was a selfless gift. The family didn’t have much and Hans wanted a gift that wasn’t just for himself, but could be enjoyed by the entire family, especially his older sister and younger brother.
Back then, the gifts were simpler. A game. A toy train. Dolls. Books. They really sparked a child’s imagination. Nowadays, everything is electric and computerized with lights, buzzers, and power cords. PlayStations. MP3 players. Electric bikes. The elves can’t just be cobblers, tailors, and scribes anymore. Now I have to hire programmers, engineers, and a team of lawyers just in case something has a major malfunction.
ATC: I didn’t realize things had gotten so complicated.
SANTA: They have, indeed, Peppermint. But every now and then a glimmer of the simple life shines through. Just before stopping at Gretta’s house, I ran into a homeless man named Johan. While I’d love to give him a nice home to stay in, that just isn’t possible. But I was able to give him a warm cup of coffee from the J-Cup machine and a spare gift blanket I had. We spoke about Christmases past for a few wonderful minutes before I had to move on. It’s those unexpected stops that remind me on why go through this year after year.
Unfortunately, it also reminds me of that one regrettable night a decade ago.
ATC: Regrettable? What happened?
SANTA: It was Dracula, of course. He knew he had no chance of stopping me that year. I had a large head start and he just couldn’t catch up. But that didn’t stop him from doing what he could to disrupt my deliveries. He arrived in Hamburg after me and proceed to take all the gifts I left for himself. The children woke up the next morning to find many of their presents were gone. I can’t help but think that I could have done something. Hide the gifts where only the children would find them, perhaps? Send several of the woodland creatures to guard the houses? Anything, that would have ensured they had a Merry Christmas.
ATC: Sounds awful. I assume that’s why we use CBD?
SANTA: Yes. It was that disaster that inspired me to have the elves develop the Computerized Bow Detectors. Our network can track each gift's location. If one of them is moved before morning, a team of SEALs, the Specialized Elves Averting Loss, is dispatched to retrieve the gift and make sure it is either returned safely or replaced.
ATC: You have sure built quite the organization over the years. Which reminds me, Cookey poked her head in earlier. Wanted me to ask you what you would like her to make for your after-flight meal.
SANTA: Oh, that’s easy. I’ve been thinking all night about enjoying my favorite meal when I return to the North Pole: a Buffalo Chicken Sandwich with a side of salty cheese fries.
ATC: Buffalo? That’s a surprise. I never took you for a spicy man.
SANTA: After a night of cookies, sweets are the last thing I want. I prefer something that’s the complete opposite, and buffalo chicken is about the most opposite I can think of. Not to mention, all those glasses of milk I drink are the perfect buffer for my stomach.
ATC: Sounds delicious, but you know how they say all good things must come to an end? I just spotted a blip on the radar. I think Blood Sucker is in the area.
SANTA: Thanks for the warning. Luckily, I’m flying over a used sleigh lot. If I park among the other sleighs, unhitch the team, and shut everything down, I should be able to blend in and hide until he moves on.
ATC: Sounds like a plan. I’ll keep quiet until you check back in. Aire Traffic Control, signing off.
===============
Roll Results: 6 cards
Queen Diamonds: An elderly person asleep in a chair is someone you remember from their childhood.
Eat one sweet (6 left)
Six Clubs: You escape from Dracula thanks to a warning from your elves.
Eat a sweet (5 left)
Two hearts: What favorite food will you eat when you are done with your ride.
Ten hearts: How have gifts changed over the years.
King hearts: What past regret keeps upsetting you.
Draw from the tower. Keep the King. If you get all four, you lose. (Eliminated 6, 35 remain)
Six Diamonds: You help a homeless person.
Eat one sweet (4 left)
SANTA: Ho, Ho, Ho. Peppermint, it’s great to be back in Germany.
ATC: What’s even greater is that we haven’t had any sign of BS since you lost him in Bangkok.
SANTA: The old bat is probably still lost in those alleyways looking for me.
ATC: (Peppermint gives a hearty laugh, hearty for an elf, at least.) So, what’s so great about Germany, Santa?
SANTA: I have great memories of the children here. They’re some of my favorites. Take my last stop, little Gretta. Her grandfather, Hans, lives with them and was sound asleep in the living room chair. When he was just 10 years old, he asked me for a simple board game. If I remember, it was called Gänsespiel. What is so memorable is that it was a selfless gift. The family didn’t have much and Hans wanted a gift that wasn’t just for himself, but could be enjoyed by the entire family, especially his older sister and younger brother.
Back then, the gifts were simpler. A game. A toy train. Dolls. Books. They really sparked a child’s imagination. Nowadays, everything is electric and computerized with lights, buzzers, and power cords. PlayStations. MP3 players. Electric bikes. The elves can’t just be cobblers, tailors, and scribes anymore. Now I have to hire programmers, engineers, and a team of lawyers just in case something has a major malfunction.
ATC: I didn’t realize things had gotten so complicated.
SANTA: They have, indeed, Peppermint. But every now and then a glimmer of the simple life shines through. Just before stopping at Gretta’s house, I ran into a homeless man named Johan. While I’d love to give him a nice home to stay in, that just isn’t possible. But I was able to give him a warm cup of coffee from the J-Cup machine and a spare gift blanket I had. We spoke about Christmases past for a few wonderful minutes before I had to move on. It’s those unexpected stops that remind me on why go through this year after year.
Unfortunately, it also reminds me of that one regrettable night a decade ago.
ATC: Regrettable? What happened?
SANTA: It was Dracula, of course. He knew he had no chance of stopping me that year. I had a large head start and he just couldn’t catch up. But that didn’t stop him from doing what he could to disrupt my deliveries. He arrived in Hamburg after me and proceed to take all the gifts I left for himself. The children woke up the next morning to find many of their presents were gone. I can’t help but think that I could have done something. Hide the gifts where only the children would find them, perhaps? Send several of the woodland creatures to guard the houses? Anything, that would have ensured they had a Merry Christmas.
ATC: Sounds awful. I assume that’s why we use CBD?
SANTA: Yes. It was that disaster that inspired me to have the elves develop the Computerized Bow Detectors. Our network can track each gift's location. If one of them is moved before morning, a team of SEALs, the Specialized Elves Averting Loss, is dispatched to retrieve the gift and make sure it is either returned safely or replaced.
ATC: You have sure built quite the organization over the years. Which reminds me, Cookey poked her head in earlier. Wanted me to ask you what you would like her to make for your after-flight meal.
SANTA: Oh, that’s easy. I’ve been thinking all night about enjoying my favorite meal when I return to the North Pole: a Buffalo Chicken Sandwich with a side of salty cheese fries.
ATC: Buffalo? That’s a surprise. I never took you for a spicy man.
SANTA: After a night of cookies, sweets are the last thing I want. I prefer something that’s the complete opposite, and buffalo chicken is about the most opposite I can think of. Not to mention, all those glasses of milk I drink are the perfect buffer for my stomach.
ATC: Sounds delicious, but you know how they say all good things must come to an end? I just spotted a blip on the radar. I think Blood Sucker is in the area.
SANTA: Thanks for the warning. Luckily, I’m flying over a used sleigh lot. If I park among the other sleighs, unhitch the team, and shut everything down, I should be able to blend in and hide until he moves on.
ATC: Sounds like a plan. I’ll keep quiet until you check back in. Aire Traffic Control, signing off.
===============
Roll Results: 6 cards
Queen Diamonds: An elderly person asleep in a chair is someone you remember from their childhood.
Eat one sweet (6 left)
Six Clubs: You escape from Dracula thanks to a warning from your elves.
Eat a sweet (5 left)
Two hearts: What favorite food will you eat when you are done with your ride.
Ten hearts: How have gifts changed over the years.
King hearts: What past regret keeps upsetting you.
Draw from the tower. Keep the King. If you get all four, you lose. (Eliminated 6, 35 remain)
Six Diamonds: You help a homeless person.
Eat one sweet (4 left)
(Read the next communication here.)
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