(Read the previous part here.)
“Well my lion taming friend, there’s only one thing left to do.”
Mr. Jingles, the clown star of Professor Underwood’s Exalted Circus, and his current sidekick, Francois the Lion Tamer sit inside the tiny clown car they borrowed for this evening’s excursion into the wood. Despite the fact that the little blue buggy can fit easily into a compact parking stall, its interior is quite roomy, able to fit about 20 clowns, give or take a joker.
“Check out the church?” Francois asks his colorful cohort.
“You guessed it.”
“It wasn’t really that hard a guess, monsieur.”
As they drove the short distance to the dilapidated building, Mr. Jingles recounted what they just learned from the hermit.
“The way I understand it, all these monstrosities were once normal woodland critters . . . “
“Or persons,” Francois interjected, thinking about the Orcus Gang.
“Or people,” Jingles agrees. “Then all of a sudden some mysterious force starts turning them into chickens. But not everyone. Odocoileus has lived in the woods this entire time, yet she’s still an ornery old woman.”
“Mon Dieu! What can it be? Do you think it has something to do with the church?”
“It might. Ode did say she avoided it. But I’m not sure. Some ancient curse sounds a bit far-fetched. I like to think there’s some scientific explanation behind all this.”
“But what do you know? You are just a clown.”
“You got me there, Francois. You got me there.”
[Is there anything outside the church when they arrive? Roll: No]
Jingles stops the car fifty feet from the church and he and Francois exit. Putting a gloved finger up to his wide red-painted lips, Jingles indicates to Francois that he wants the lion tamer to quietly follow him. The two creep up to the closest window and carefully peek inside.
The inside of the church was every bit of a shambles at the outside. Pews lay scattered, broken and decaying. Tables are toppled. Any artwork that used to hang on the walls has rotted away, leaving only empty frames. From their angle, they can’t see the altar area, but near the back of the church is a large pile of leaves and twigs roughly resembling a nest. Sitting in the middle of the nest is what appears to be a giant chicken with an extremely long neck. However, two more of the beasts can be seen roaming around the open room and it is obvious from their long legs that they are not giant chickens, but some type of ostrich/chicken cross-breed.
[The original adventure assumes you are playing in a fantasy setting and actually describes these creatures as Chicken Harpies. In converting this to a more contemporary setting I’ve already altered orcs and goblins into human chickens. I thought trying to explain yet another missing human (in this case three females) might be stretching it a bit, so I just went for a large odd bird instead.
Do Jingles and Francois A) try to scare off the birds, or B) try to capture the birds? Roll: A]
“We need to get in there and search for some cause of all this and possibly a solution,” Mr. Jingles explains. He thinks for a moment, then has an idea. “Francois, I’ll bet the frame holding up the bell is very rotted. A few swift kicks and it will come tumbling down. I want you to sneak in the front and climb up into the tower. When you are set, I will try to get the creatures to follow me outside. Once we are out, you kick the support and send the bell crashing down, blocking the entrance so they can’t get back in.”
“Sounds dangerous. Do you think it will work?”
“I have no idea. Do you have a better plan?”
“Maybe the birds are friendly?”
“If any of the other chicken creatures we have seen are any indication, I wouldn’t count on it.”
Francois gives in and walks around the church, making sure to keep his head down so as not to be visible through the windows. He reaches the double front doors that lead into the vestibule beneath the bell tower and carefully peeks in.
[Francois will use his athletics skill (low) to quietly creep up the stairs. Threat level is High.
Option A (low): Francois makes it up into the bell tower.
Option B (high): The bird stops him.]
The lion tamer’s timing couldn’t be worse. The moment he pokes his head around the corner, one of the giant birds is looking right in his direction and sees him. There is no doubt in Francois’ mind that he has been seen, as the bird raises his head up, ruffles its feathers, and begins to charge.
Round 1: [Option A] Francois decides to go for it. He sprints into the room, heading for the staircase. The chicken-ostrich just misses pecking him with its beak as he leaps for the stairs and begins his descent.
Round 2: [Option A] He is not safe yet, however, as the giant bird begins to ascend after him. All Francois can do at this point is continue up. He takes the steps two at a time, hearing several crack as he puts his weight on them. He hopes they are sturdy enough to support him, as a fall from this height would be very painful. Fortunately for him, the boards hold. Unfortunately for the chicken-ostrich, Francois did weaken several to the point that they could no longer support the heavy bird. About halfway up, the stairs give way and the deformed creature plummets to the floor. The thankful Francois makes it to the top and catches his breath. He sticks his arm out of one of the eye-windows and gives a thumbs-up signal. Seeing the signal, Mr. Jingles heads around the far side of the church hoping to find another entrance.
[Is there a door? Roll: Yes]
He sees a single door hanging loosely on its hinges. The clown creeps inside and finds himself in a small room. The door that separates this room from the altar has long since fallen down. Peeking through the door he sees that the two remaining creatures have turned their attention to the back of the church where their comrade had recently hit the floor.
[Does Mr. Jingles notice anything else in the room before proceeding with the plan? Roll: Yes]
Now that the bird that was sitting in the nest is on her feet, Mr. Jingles can see that there is a large egg laying in the nest. Obviously, she was keeping it warm when he first saw her.
[Jingles’ current plan is to simply run through the church, hoping the chicken-ostriches will chase him out of the building. However, with this new information, he can change his plan if he makes a successful Deduction Skill (high) check against a low threat.
Option A (high): Jingles changes his plan, resulting in an evacuation of the beasts.
Option B: (low): Jingles proceeds with the original plan and must pass another challenge to succeed.]
Round 1: [Option B] “Well, here goes nothing,” Jingles thinks to himself as he exits the room and prepares to make a sprint through the birds and out the front door.
Round 2: [Option A] Whispering to himself, he counts down. “One . . . two . . . hold on!” Suddenly, the clown has a thought. Maybe he can do this another way that is not as dangerous.
Instead of running down the aisle, Mr. Jingles takes birds’ distraction as an opportunity to crouch down behind the remains of the pews and make his way to the side aisle that leads to the nest. Being careful to move quietly, he creeps us to where the giant egg is resting and picks it up.
Standing in the middle of the aisle, Mr. Jingles holds up the egg and shouts, “Hey, chickens! I got something you might be interested in.
The three chicken-ostriches turn to face him. Seeing the egg, they begin squawking in agitation.
“You want it? Here you go!” With that, he pulls the egg back as though it is a bowling ball and rolls it down the aisles at the creatures. The egg rolls between their legs and out the front door. The birds waste no time and chase after their pre-born chick.
“Now!” Mr. Jingles calls out once the last bird is out the front door. The clown hears Francois grunt a couple of times, followed by some cracking, then a loud cacophony as the bell crashes down the tower and slams into the floor in a cloud of dust and splinters.
Francois’ head pokes down from up in the tower. “We got ‘em, oui?”
“Oui, we did. Now let’s see what we can find out.”
Mr. Jingles walks down the aisle to the altar while Francois climbs down the remains of the stairs and bell. When Jingles arrives at the altar he finds a book bound with dry, cracking leather. Laying next to the book is a wooden staff topped with an ornament shaped like the head of a chicken. The items’ presence surprises the clown as he thought everything would have been looted from the building by now, but he doesn’t think too hard about it.
[Does the book claim that the staff A) creates the chicken creatures, or B) controls the chicken creatures? Roll: A]
Francois joins Mr. Jingles behind the altar as the clown carefully opens the book, being careful not to destroy the brittle pages. It appears to be a book of lore and hymns associated with the Chicken God Alectryon. (One of the hymns is preserved here.) It tells the original story of Alectryon from Greek Mythology), but adds additional information which the book claims has been lost to history and only recently (at the time of its writing) rediscovered. According to it, the soldier was able to break the curse put upon him by Ares and return from his chicken form back into a human. To avenge himself, Alectryon used the Chicken-Headed staff to change all the animals of the earth into a chicken army under his command. He marched his army to Mount Olympus and waged war with the gods. The battle raged on for many days until Zeus put an end to all the foolishness by elevating Alectryon to the status of a god.
“C’est incroyable!” Francois exclaims, reading over the clown’s shoulder. “Do you think this is the same staff Alectryon used to turn animals into chickens?”
“Nah, it can’t be!” Jingles says, “But then again, if it’s really a magical staff created by a god . . . “
“Do you think the staff is causing all this?”
“There’s one way to find out. Francois, it’s up to us to destroy the staff! If it truly is the cause, then maybe destroying it will reverse the curse.”
Picking up the staff, Mr. Jingles leads Francois out the back door. They take a quick look toward the front door of the church and [Are the chicken-ostriches there? Yes] see the chicken-ostriches diligently trying to find a way around the bell and back into the church. Thankfully, the birds are not paying any attention to Jingles and Francois as they walk to the far side of the car. Francois starts gathering some medium-sized rocks and arranges them in a circle while Jingles rummages through the tiny car’s glove compartment for a lighter. (He knows Raspy always keeps one in there.) Mr. Jingles snaps the staff in half over his knee, then breaks each half in two once again. He arranges the pieces in the middle of the stone circle and starts a fire with the lighter. While they keep an eye on the chicken-ostriches to make sure they are not attracted by the smoke the fire burns. In about fifteen minutes, nothing is left of the staff except a pile of ash.
[Have the chicken-ostriches given up by now? Yes]
By this time, the birds have given up trying to get back into the church and have taken their egg and left to find another nesting place. This is unfortunate as now Jingles and Francois have no way to tell if their efforts had any effect. The clown once again pulls back his sleeve to expose his oversized watch and check the time.
“Standing here tells us nothing, but we still have a bit of time to drive around and see if there are any chicken creatures left.”
“Perhaps we can find that biologist’s chicken-horse.”
“Or just ‘horse,’ if it worked.”
Back in the car, they drive back to the main road, but instead of turning north, they travel south. After a couple of hundred feet the trees clear to the east revealing a vast meadow. Grazing in the middle of the meadow is a large white horse covered in feathers with two large wings sprouting from its sides.
“Mon Dieu! A pegasus!” Francois exclaims.
“I believe that is the chicken-horse,” Mr. Jingles corrects the lion tamer. “Check to see if there is any rope in the trunk.”
Francois exists the vehicle and quietly opens the trunk. He spots a length of rope and begins to pull it out hand-over-hand, letting it pile up on the ground. Mr. Jingles also gets out of the car and watches this new chicken creature. It has its rear to them and so far has not noticed their arrival.
“How’s that rope coming?” Jingles whispers.
“Working on it,” Francois answers, still pulling out rope. The pile is up to his waist and there is no end in sight.
[Does Jingles see anything else in the meadow? (There are other encounters associated with the meadow) Roll: No.]
Mr. Jingles scans the rest of the meadow to see if there are any other critters around. He spots none but is still a bit disappointed at the sight of the chicken-horse. If it’s still part chicken, that might mean destroying the staff did nothing. Or, there simply hasn’t been enough time for the effects of the staff to wear off. Either way, the best course of action would be to bring the animal back to Benjamin for him to study.
“Francois, where is that . . .” Jingles stops in mid-sentence when he turns to see Francois still pulling rope from the trunk despite standing next to the pile that is now taller than the roof of the car. “What in the name of P. T. Barnum is going on back there?”
“It won’t end.”
“Here, let me take care of that.” Jingles walks over and starts rummaging around in the trunk. “Ah, there they are,” he says as he pulls out a pair of scissors that are about ten times the size of a normal. He uses both hands to cut the rope in two and tosses the shears back in the trunk.
Tying a noose in one end of the rope, Mr. Jingles explains his plan. “I want you to use your animal handling knowledge to distract and keep the horse calm while I sneak up behind and toss this noose around its neck.”
“Oui monsieur! You can count on me.”
[The task will be based on Francois’ Animal-Handling Skill (high) against a high threat
Option A: Francois is able to control the animal and Jingles can lasso it.
Option B: The horse is unable to be captured.]
Francois slowly heads out into the meadow in the direction of the chicken-horse while Jingles walks a little further down the road before circling around and coming in from behind. While he is actually a lion tamer, Francois trusts that his methods for handling large cats will also work with this horse. Still, he can’t help but wonder if Maddi, the bare-back rider/acrobat, wouldn’t have been better suited for this task.
Round 1: [Option B] “Horsey, horsey, horsey,” Francois calls out. “Hello, Mr. horse. I am here to be your friend.” He wishes he had an apple or sugar cube to offer the beast, but all he holds in his hand is his lion tamer’s whip.
The chicken-horse looks up from the grass he is grazing upon to stare at the approaching man. When he does, Francois can clearly see that a large wattle has grown out of the horse’s neck.
“That’s a good horse. You are a pretty animal,” he lies, as he slowly reaches out to stroke its nose.
The horse, however, sees the whip and suddenly rears up with a crowing-neigh, front legs kicking and wings flapping.
Round 2: [Option B] Francois leaps out of the way of the flailing hoof but is still clipped in the shoulder and sent to the ground.
“Francois!” Jingles calls out. “Are you okay!”
“Oui! Quick. Lasso ‘im!”
[The encounter continues with another challenge. Jingles will use his Bludgeon Attack (high). Since the horse won both previous rounds I will keep the threat at high.
Option A: Jingles can subdue the beast.
Option B: The beast is not subdued.]
Round 1: [Option A] The clown, fearing that his friend is about to be trampled, drops the end of the rope, pulls out his rubber chicken, and runs to put himself between the beast and Francois. The horse’s agitation grows at the sight of the motley clown and he lets out a loud snort. Jingles swings and smacks the horse across its nose with the rubber weapon.
Round 2: [Option B] This only enrages the horse more. Mr. Jingles, considering the chicken-horse’s size and strength, feels his best course of action is to run. He takes off toward the road, hoping that at the very least he can draw the beast away from Francois.
Round 3: [Option A] Mr. Jingles’ clown speed (it’s a thing) kicks in and he is able to stay ahead of the horse all the way to the road. Upon reaching the car, he dives in the open driver’s side door and shuts it behind him. He quickly reaches over and closes the passenger side door as well. The horse rams the car, causing it to rock up on two wheels. The car sits back down on all fours and the horse rears up and slams its hooves down on the hood. It takes a step back and eyes the clown through the windshield, looking for a way to get inside.
Meanwhile, while the chicken-horse is distracted with Mr. Jingles, Francois is able to get back to his feet. Despite an extremely sore shoulder, he picks up the dropped noose and follows after the horse. Sneaking up on the animal, who is still focused on the clown in the car, Francois tosses the noose over its head and pulls it tight. The horse spooks and takes off down the road. Francois wisely drops the rope and lets the horse go, but quickly runs to the rest of the pile and wraps some of the slack rope around the car’s rear bumper. When the horse reaches the end the rope draws taught and the car, with Mr. Jingles still inside, lurches. The horse continues to pull the vehicle for another ten feet before stopping.
Mr. Jingles exits and the two stand side-by-side watching the roped chicken-horse calm down and begin grazing at a tuft of grass growing alongside the road.
“It looks like we’ve caught ourselves a chicken-horse,” says Mr. Jingles, patting Francois on the back.
Measuring out a reasonable length of rope, Francoise ties it securely to the bumper and heaves the rest back in the trunk. Then the two slowly drive off toward town leading the chicken-horse behind them tethered by the rope.
As they reach the signpost pointing the way to the church they see Odecoileus just leaving the trail turning up the road to town. They pull up alongside her and Francois rolls down the window.
“You heading to the circus?” Mr. Jingles calls out.
“Yep. Thought it might be fun.”
“Hop in. We’ll give you a ride.”
Looking down the rope at the trailing chicken-horse, Ode pokes a thumb in its direction. “Looks like you two have been busy.”
“That horse is just the half of it,” Francois explains.
“We’ll tell you the story on the way,” Jingles offers as Francois opens his door and steps out to let the hermit climb into the back seat.”
The continue and as they near the fork in the road where they earlier encountered the Orcus Gang they are met with no resistance. Instead, they can see a couple of the chicken-men peeking out from hiding places amongst the trees. Mr. Jingles can only assume that either they had given up on trying to stop them based on their previous encounters, or the gang is intimidated by the fact that they had captured the chicken-horse and were thinking twice about attack such formidable foes. Either way, the car makes it safely through.
Jingles and Francois have just enough time to deliver the horse to Benjamin the Biologist, providing they can find him. If not, they would just take the creature back to the circus in the hopes that it can be tamed and incorporated into the act. As for the curse, tonight is the last performance of Professor Underwood’s Exalted Circus in Huevo. After the show, the tents will be packed up and the troop will be off to their next engagement. Mr. Jingles may never know if he and Francois were successful in either reversing the curse or stopping it from spreading. Jingles, wasn’t too concerned, however, about Huevo’s future. They survived just fine before the circus came to town. They would survive after it left. At least Mr. Jingles the clown had himself another grand adventure, and that’s what matters to him.
EPILOGUE:
It’s the middle of the night. The final circus performance ended hours ago and the circus workers have already started breaking down the tents and packing up the equipment with the hopes of leaving as early as possible the next morning. Un-noticed by any of them is a tanker truck that drives past on its way toward the woods outside of town.
The tanker with the logo for the “Cluck ‘N Chuck Chicken Processing Plant” on its side continues into the woods for several hundred yards and stops near the edge of the swamp. The driver side door opens and a thin man wearing jeans, a t-shirt, and a baseball cap climbs out of the cab. Following behind him is a beagle, gleefully wagging its tail. The man walks to the rear of the tank and unravels a hose that is hanging from the truck. One end is attached to a bib on the tank. The other end the man tosses into the swamp water. He turns the valve on the spigot, releasing the tank’s contents into the water. He lights up a cigarette while he waits.
The beagle runs around and chases fireflies, stopping only briefly to take a drink from the swamp.
“Frisco, stop that,” the man scolds. “That water’s nasty.”
Frisco jumps at his master’s voice, yips, and goes back to chasing fireflies.
After about ten minutes the job is done. The man flicks the butt of his second cigarette into the swamp water and rolls up the hose.. After climbing back up into the cab he calls his pet. “Frisco! C’mon. It’s time to go.”
The beagle runs to the cab and leaps up onto the man’s lap to get to the passenger’s seat. The man closes the door and starts the engine, oblivious to the single chicken feather that is slowly drifting down just outside the vehicle . . . a feather that fell off of Fisco’s wagging tail.
(Read the After-Post here.)
(Read the After-Post here.)
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