Read the previous chapter here.
Once Mr. Jingles and Francois’ respective acts were complete the clown and lion tamer meet behind the Big Top.
“We barely have five hours before the evening show,” Jingles says, checking his oversized watch. “No time to walk. I’ll find us some transportation while you gather the supplies we spoke of. Meet back here in ten minutes.”
The two hurry off in separate directions. Francois heads off to the animal tents in search of a sack of corn.
[Does Francois find any corn? Roll: No]
The lion tamer looks around the sacks of feed. He finds oats for the horses and hay and peanuts for the elephants. He knows his own cats eat raw meat. What he cannot find is any corn. Suddenly, he has another idea and heads off toward the mess tent.
Francois remembers that Chuck, the cook, served corn last night for dinner. Perhaps Chuck has some that he can spare. Reaching the small tent set up for eating, he heads to the food truck parked just outside which serves as the kitchen. (Everyone refers to it as “Chuck’s Wagon.”)
“Bonjour, Monsieur Chuck,” Francois greets the man who is currently preparing the evening meal. “I was hoping I could trouble you for a sack of corn.”
[Does the cook have any corn? Roll: No]
Chuck, a large man with a bald head and a five o’clock shadow is dressed in his white, food-stained apron. He frowns as he addresses the lion tamer. “I’m sorry, Francois. I’m plumb out and haven’t had time to restock my pantry.”
“Zut alors!” I guess Mr. Jingles and myself will have to make due.”
“What are you and Jingles up to that you need corn?”
“Ah! We are hunting giant chicken monsters!”
Chuck, a puzzled expression on his face, watches the strange man head off toward the Big Top.
Moments later, Mr. Jingles pulls up to the prearranged meeting spot driving the tiny clown car that is used in the cops and robbers act. He exits and Francois relays the bad news about the corn.
“Well, we don’t have time to drive to the store,” Jingles says, “So I guess we'll just have to try to avoid that Chicken-Man-Creature thing.”
[Do they run into any locals before leaving the circus grounds? Roll: Yes
Local chosen at random from the list of “Local Yokels”]
The duo climbs into the car and head off in the direction of the forest. Standing alongside the road just at the edge of the treeline stands a man in a white lab coat. [He holds 1.Bridle 2.Lasso 3.Carrot 4.Sack of grain 5. Nothing Roll: 5] Mr. Jingles honks the tiny horn as he pulls up beside the man.
“Need a ride?”
“No,” the stranger says, startled at the sudden appearance of a car being driven by a rainbow-haired clown and moustached man in full lion tamer regalia. “No, I’m fine. You’re not going in there, are you?”
“As a matter of fact, we are. Hey, you wouldn’t happen to know anything about those chicken-things roaming the woods, do you?”
“Unfortunately, I might be to blame . . . at least for some of them.”
Mr. Jingles’ eyes widen. “Tell me more.”
[When I encountered this NPC I only revealed enough of his story to begin the conversation with Jingles. However, as I revealed more, I realized his motivations were much different than I anticipated. This was fine, but would mean that I would have to rewrite some of the dialog. Another option would be to follow Bivius’ suggestions regarding published adventures. Using the descriptions in the pre-written adventure you create two options. Options A is the encounter as it is written. Option B is something else. This is what I chose to do.
Option A: Follow the Adventure as written.
Option B: Alter this character’s story.
The result of the roll (which I will withhold for now) inspired the following.]
“My name is Benjamin and I am a biologist. I heard the rumors of the chicken creatures in these woods and came to Huevo to investigate. While roaming through the woods I didn’t see any of the beings . . . “
“Lucky you,” Mr. Jingles exclaims under his breath, thinking back on the encounters of the previous day.
“. . . but I did come across a rather large chicken feather. I took it back to my lab and ran several experiments. During the course of my trials I was successful in crossing DNA extracted from the feather with the DNA of a horse, creating a Chicken-Horse. I don’t know if it was just the horse’s nature or the result of the alteration, but the thing was wild, kicked down the stable door and took off into the woods. I really must get the creature back. Having a living cross specimen will greatly advance my studies.”
Benjamin’s eyes suddenly widen with an idea. “Hey! Would you two consider trying to capture it and bring it back to me? I would be most grateful.”
“Well, we don’t have a lot of time,” the clown explains, “And we were really hoping to put and end to this chicken infestation, or at least figure out what’s going on. Tell you what, if we come across your horse and it doesn’t put up too much of a fight, we’ll do our best to bring it back.”
“I guess that’s all I can ask for,” Benjamin agrees and wishes them luck as they drive off.
[The clown car can be treated as a gadget with its own stats. I will set one high and one low stat. The High stat will be Maneuverability, as it can zig and zag pretty easily. The low stat will be speed, as it’s a small prop car and not built to go fast.
Clown Car
High: Maneuverability (low)
Low: Speed]
“So, what is the plan,” Francois asks.
“I overheard the sheriff speak of two locals who each encountered these strange beasts: Odecoileus and Tamiasciurus.”
“These folks have some strange names. And I’s is impressed, Monsieur Jingles, that you remember such complex names.”
“I call it my ‘Clowny Sense.’ Anyway, I would like to speak with them. I have no idea where to find Tami, but the sheriff mentioned that Ode lives beyond the chicken church. So that's where we should go.”
Mr. Jingles continues down the dirt road that runs through the forest, keeping watch for the Chicken-Orc they encountered the previous day.
[Do they meet up with the Chicken-Orc? Roll: Yes. He is accompanied by (d4+1) 3 Choblins.]
At the point in the road where another branch intersects with it from the east, the Chicken-Orc stands in the middle of the road blocking the way. This time, however, he is not alone. With him are three smaller green-skinned humanoids, also with chicken wings and legs covered in feathers.
“How I wish we had that sack of corn right about now,” says Jingles.
“I tried,” explains Francois.
“I know. It’s not your fault. My best hope is to swerve back and forth and try to avoid them.”
[Jingles will use the car’s maneuverability (high) stat. Threat level to avoid the chicken gang: High
Option A: Jingles avoids the gang
Option B: Chicken gang stops the car]
Round 1: [Option B] Mr. Jingles steers the car toward the edge of the road hoping to simply drive around the creatures. However, the beasts can easily deduce his intentions and move over to block the way.
Round 2: [Option B] Jingles steers the car to the other side of the road, but it’s no use as the Chicken-Orc and Choblins simply move over, as well. [Car Maneuverability drops to low]
“I guess you will just have to run them down,” suggests Francois.
“I don’t know. This car doesn’t have a lot of ‘oomph’,” Jingles concedes.
“What other choice do we have?”
“Since you put it that way . . .” And the clown floors it, aiming the tiny car for one of the smaller, yet still imposing, creatures.
[He will use the speed stat (low) against a high threat [how come I always roll even when it’s a negative result for me? Huh?
Option A: Jingles runs down the choblin
Option B: the choblin stops the car]
Round 1: [Option A] The car gains barely five more miles per hour as “Speed Demon” Jingles grits his teeth, anticipating the impact.
Round 2: [Option A] The miniature car drives full force into the unmoving choblin, send the foul creature into the air. It lets out a loud squawk as feathers fly all around.
“We did it!” Francois cheers.
“We’re not out of the woods yet,” explains Jingles, ignoring his own pun as he looks in the rearview mirror. “The big one is coming after us.”
Hot on their tail, the giant Chicken-Orc runs after them, clucking furiously. He rapidly closes the distance but, in its haste, foolishly attempts to fly by flapping its wings. Despite having some of the features of a chicken, it certainly doesn’t have the aerodynamics of a chicken (which is already poor to begin with). It barely gets off the ground before pitching face-first into the road and tumbling forward. The clown car pulls away as the downed creature can do nothing but shake it’s tail feathers and squawks in protest.
[Okay, it’s at this point that I realize I majorly misread a key item on the map, namely the location of the town of Huevo in relation to the rest of the map. Looking back, it wasn’t a simple fix to edit the story to correct a few directions. So I decided to change the map and move the town to where I thought it originally was, as well as some other locations in order to agree with their original juxtaposition. Therefore, if you ever download this one-page dungeon to play in your own campaigns, note that my images will differ from the published map.]
Further down the road, past the trail that leads to the swamp, they come across an old worn and faded signpost that points down a small trail to the east that leads deeper into the woods. The sign reads “Church of Alectryon”. Thankful for the marker, Jingles steers the car down the narrow trail.
[Do they encounter any monsters once they enter the woods? Roll: Yes
I roll to randomly choose one of the “forest” encounters.]
No sooner do they leave the main road when (3d6) five squirrels jump from the trees and pounce on the car. Only they are not quite squirrels. They are critters that have the body of squirrels, but the heads of chickens. Startled by the attack, Jingles jerks the steering wheel to the side but quickly straightens out the car. The critters bite and scratch at the windows and roof trying to gain entrance.
“Oh mon Dieu!” exclaims Francois. “These must be the chicken-squirrels you told me about!”
“Yes,” agrees Jingles. “The ones that attacked Tami. Maybe I can shake them.”
[Jingles uses the car’s maneuverability (low) against the squirrels’ threat (low)
Option A: Jingles can swerve enough to shake the squirrels off.
Option B: He can’t.]
There is nothing for the squirrels to dig their claws in, so Jingles thinks if he swerves the car a bit they should slide right off.
Round1: [Option A] As he quickly moves the steering wheel left and right, the clown’s efforts are rewarded as two chicken-squirrels slide across the windshield and are flung off into the bushes.
Round 2: [Option A] The remaining squirrels hang on to the wipers and spaces around the doors. They menacingly show their teeth as they attack the glass. Without warning, Jingles slams on the brakes and the car comes to a sudden stop. The squirrels’ momentum sends them sliding down the hood of the car, their little feet scampering to get a hold. All three land in the road ahead of the car and Mr. Jingles pushes the gas pedal to the floor. The car lurches forward and bounces up and down as it rolls over the little critters, their squeals loud enough to be heard over the purr of the engine.
Several hundred feet down further down the path a large structure appears amongst the trees. The wooden building is worn and weathered, the paint having peeled away ages ago. Most of the windows are broken and several planks have fallen here and there, leaving gaping holes in the walls. What is most notable, however, is that instead of nice plumb walls and hard angles on the corners, the sides of the building bow outward, curving both at the bottom and top, roughly forming the shape of a football. Protruding out about midway along out of the side of the oblong building is an add-on, or “wing”. One can assume there is a similar add-on on the opposite side of the building. The roof of the strange building has two additional constructions, one on each end. The end closest to the approaching car sports a spire-shaped like a chicken’s head. Through the “eyes”, Mr. Jingles can see a large bell hanging from a wooden crossbeam. Opposite the unique bell tower on the far end of the building are several wooden planks sticking up out of the roof in a semi-circular fan shape. These planks appear to serve no other purpose than to give the appearance of a giant chicken’s tail feathers. Anyone looking at it would have to admit it did look like a giant wooden chicken.
“What an ugly building!” Francois exclaims.
“I’m assuming that is the Chicken Church,” says Mr. Jingles.
“What else would it be? Should we stop?”
“We’ve already run into too many surprises. I’d rather talk to the hermit first and find out what she knows about this place.”
As they drive past, Francois tries to get a look inside through the broken windows. The lion tamer does indeed see a dark shape moving inside, but he is unable to make out any details.
[Do they have any more encounters before reaching the hermit shack? No.]
The small car reaches the end of the trail and stops. Jingles and Francois exit the vehicle and look around. To the north they can just make out a run-down shack through the trees.
“That must be Ode’s place,” Jingles surmises as they walk off in the direction of the shack. The clown’s suspicions are confirmed once they see a large chicken head sporting a multipoint rack of antlers mounted on the front door. “I would suspect that’s what remains of the chicken deer she shot.”
Walking up to the door, Jingles tells Francois to let him do the talking. He raps sharply on the door and awaits an answer. Several long moments pass and Francois starts to peek through the window as the door suddenly opens revealing a four-foot-tall husky woman. She is dressed in dirty jeans and a flannel shirt. Her frazzled hair is shoulder length and greying. The most notable thing about her, however, is that she holds a double-barreled shotgun, it’s muzzle angled up and pointing right at Mr. Jingles bright red nose. Francois reaches for his whip but the clown waves him off.
“Hello, ma’am. Would you happen to be Odocoileus?”
Ode narrows her gaze and surveys the colorful duo standing outside her front door. “And who’s askin’?”
“My name is Mr. Jingles,” he says, extending a hand, an action that causes Ode to tighten her grip on the gun and move it a bit closer to the clown. Mr. Jingles, heeding the threat, retracts the hand. “And this is my associate, Francois. We are performers in Professor Underwood’s Exalted Circus which is currently on engagement in the town of Huevo. Right now, however, we are investigating the strange chicken sightings outside of town. We heard you bagged a chicken-deer and we would like to hear your story.” He nods toward the head mounted on the door.
Ode’s eyes dart from Jingles to Francois. “You two don’t look like investigators.”
“No, ma’am. I’m a clown and he’s a lion tamer,” he says as if that made everything much more clear.
Ode thought for a moment, then lowered the shotgun. “Come inside,” she offers, “And no funny business!”
Jingles shrugs and he and Francois follow the little lady inside.
The main living area of the cabin is sparsely furnished. There is a round table with a couple of chairs, a dusty fabric-covered couch, a couple of end tables and a bookshelf. On the end tables are a pair of oil lamps and an old battery-powered radio that looks like it’s been around since the mid-80s. The bookshelf contains all types of books, fiction and non, ranging from the classics all the way up to recent new releases.
“Have a seat,” Ode offers.
“Thank you, but we won’t be long,” Jingles explains. “I saw the head mounted to your door. Some catch.”
“Yep. Big ole buck sportin’ feathers and chicken wings. It was the first affected deer I’d seen.”
“You say that as though you had seen other chicken creatures,” Francois chimes in.
“Of course! Surely you saw some on your way out here. They’re all over. Started appearing about a year ago. First the frogs and toads. Then the smaller critters like squirrels and chipmunks. Even seen a few birds such as crows and bluejays with chicken feathers mixed in with their own.”
“We ran into a gang of sorts,” Jingles explains. “A tall, muscular man, green skin and tusks with chicken legs and wings. He was accompanied by three smaller chicken-men.”
Ode first looks at Jingles with a puzzled expression which gives way to a sudden look of understanding. “Ah, so that’s what happened to them.”
“Who?” asks Francois.
“The Orcus Gang. Big Jim Orcus and his crew, the Goblinski Brothers. They broke out of the penitentiary a couple of months ago. I heard on the radio that they were thought to be heading this way. Never saw ‘em myself and they were never caught. Must’ve hid here in these woods and caught whatever the animals caught.”
“Do you have any idea what might be causing this?” the clown inquires.
“Can’t say that I do fer sure, but if I had to guess I would say it has something to do with that church. When I was a kid it was built by a cult that worshipped the Chicken God Alectryon. I think it has something to do with Greek mythology. Anyway, the cult’s been gone for over twenty years, but I wouldn’t be surprised if they performed some rite or ceremony that put a curse on the place that turns living creatures into chickens.”
“Do you know anything about the church and what we might find there?” asks Jingles.
“I think I saw something moving inside,” Francois adds.
[Does Ode know anything about the creature in the church? No.]
“Can’t help you there,” Ode says. “I avoid the place myself. Have heard some rooster crowing come from the place, but whatever’s making it sounds bigger than any rooster I’ve seen.”
Mr. Jingles feels it’s about time to wrap things up. “Thank you for your time, Odocoileus. You’ve been very helpful but we really need to be going. However, if you’re interested in some fine entertainment, I would invite you to come to town and see the circus tonight as our guest.”
Old Ode sees the odd couple to the door and watches as they head off in the direction of the trail and their car.
(Read the next part here.)
(Read the next part here.)
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