INTRO:
As mentioned in one of my other solo adventures, I recently went on vacation and was going to try to do some simple solo play during that time. This adventure is the result of that “simple” game. I expected this to be a short one, at the most two-post story. It looks like will actually be three, but that’s okay. The main thing is that we are all having fun.
The system I am using for this adventure is the Bivius system created by Riccardo Fregi. This is a simple system that reduces everything down to a random either-or decision. At its core you use any device that will give you one of two results. I am using a six-sided dice and my two results are “even” or “odd”. All decisions and outcomes are based on the following table:
Even (2,4,6) = Option A = Yes = High Threat
Odd (1,3,5) = Option B = No = Low Threat
Whenever there is a question, decision, event, discovery, etc., you ask a yes/no question or create a choice between options A/B and roll the die. I’ll explain threats later.
For the actual adventure I am using the One-Page Dungeon called “There Ain’t Nobody Here But Us Chickens!” by Alex and Chris Stoesz. To prepare I used the GIMP graphics editor to create a black “Fog of War” layer to cover the page. (Any graphics program with layers will work.) Then I added enough transparency to the layer so I could just make out the information below. Using the eraser command I cleared away the “Fog of War” from the intro and key points around the page so I could find important items (i.e. beginning of each rumor, names of NPC, the start of each encounter, starting location on the map, etc.) Finally, I removed the transparency and was left with this:
While I tried to skim the sheet and only look at what was absolutely necessary, it was inevitable that I would see some of the map and learn some things that I shouldn’t know. In the end, it wasn’t a big deal as the known information gave me some direction to go with the story and there was no way I would remember every detail or location I saw. Now, as I play through the story I will erase the fog from the necessary text and map locations in order to progress.
Story:
Mindy squeals and throws up her hands as a masked thief dressed in prison stripes runs off with her ridiculously large purse. The thief barely gets twenty feet before he is whacked with a rubber chicken wielded by a man wearing a rainbow afro wig and matching oversized jumper. The colorfully clothed man retrieves Mindy’s purse from the fallen felon as a tiny police car pulls up and ten policemen pile out.
Hundreds of spectators laugh and cheer at the clown show, just one of the many acts of Professor Underwood’s Exalted Circus. Several clown cops toss the purse snatcher into the car as another climbs in and drives off. The remaining cops run after the car, followed by Mindy and Mr. Jingles who is twirling his rubber chicken and waving at the crowd.
Following the show, Mr. Jingles mingles about outside the big top, entertaining the children of Huevo with magic tricks and by squirting them with water-filled flower. While the colorful clown does enjoy entertaining the tots, he is also looking for adventure. It is because of this that he happens to notice [Option A: policeman Option B: townsfolk /Result: A] the local sheriff talking to Professor Underwood, circus owner and RingMaster. Without dropping a juggling scarf, Mr. Jingles slowly shuffles over to where he can hear the conversation.
[How many rumors are overheard: (1d6+1)=3 - I uncover three random rumors.]
“I know you are going to be around a few more days, Mr. Underwood,” the sherrif says. “So I wanted to give you a heads up about some rumors floatin’ around town. Crazy at it sounds, some folk claim to have seen a big half-horse/half-chicken creature in the fields just south of town.”
“Really?” questions Underwood. “That sounds a bit far-fetched, even for a circus man such as myself. Has there been any proof?”
“Not of the horse-chicken, but Odecoileus has claimed to have shot a rather odd-looking deer this past fall. Supposedly has it mounted on her wall.”
“Sounds interesting. I might want to see that.”
“Well, if that’s your wish. Old Ode is a hermit and her hut is located just beyond the old abandoned church south of town. You can’t miss it . . . the church I mean . . . it’s shaped like a giant chicken.”
“A Horse-Chicken monster. Chicken shaped church. I see a theme here,” Underwood says. “Did the hermit’s deer look like a chicken, as well?”
“Don’t know,” answers the sheriff. “Never seen it. But you might have something there with your chicken theory. Old Man Tamiasciurus claimed he was attacked by a bunch of squirrels, except they were chirping and pecking at him like chickens. Never paid him any mind, though. He’s a bit crazy if you know what I mean.” He twirls his finger in a circle next to his head in the universal gesture for “crazy”. “You know what my theory is? I think everyone is just spooked by the old abandoned church and must think it is haunted or something.”
Mr. Jingles has heard enough. He quickly wraps up his juggling act for the kiddies and then heads off for the circus performers’ trailers. There is a mystery in the town of Huevo and if there is one thing that Jingles can’t pass up is a good mystery. The woods outside of this town is infested, or at least people think it is infested, with strange chicken creatures. Needing help, Mr. Jingles thinks about who is the best person to provide back-up. His first thought is Angelina, the trapeze artist. While he relishes the thought of spending time with the attractive aerialist, these creatures might pose a real physical threat and he can’t expose Angelina to that danger. Nick Peril, the Daredevil is a good choice, but Jingles really needs someone who knows animals.
[Does Jingles choose A) Francois, the lion tamer, or B) Banjo the chimp? A: Francois]
Mr. Jingles bangs on the door to Francois’ trailer. The Frenchman opens the door, still dressed in his lion tamer’s outfit, whip hanging from his belt.
“Ah, Monsieur Jingles. Ça va?”
“I am fine, Francois. I need a little help and I thought you just might be the lion tamer to assist me in a very important matter.”
“I see. So a cat has gotten your tongue?”
“Very funny. No. It appears this town has got a chicken problem.”
“Chicken problem?”
“The people of this town are being visited by monsters with chicken-like features. I have heard tales of a half-horse/half-chicken creature. Squirrels that peck and chirp. And a deer that . . . that . . . well, I don’t know but it probably has chicken feathers or something.”
“And how does this involve moi?”
“I’m interested in finding these chicken creatures,” the clown explains. “And I need someone skilled in working with animals. So, are you game?”
“You know me too well, Monsieur. When do we get started?”
Characters:
Jingles The Clown
High Stats: Bludgeon Attack , Distraction
Low Stats: Kickboxing (shoes), Deduction, scrounging
Equipment: Rubber Chicken, Big Shoes, Squirting flower, Rainbow Wig
Francois the Lion Tamer
High Stats: Whip-craft, animal-handling
Low Stats: zoology, cuisine, athletics
Equipment: Whip
[Does Francois use a pistol? No]
[The first thing I am going to do is see if Mr. Jingles thinks about learning more about the situation before heading off into the woods. I’m going to treat this as a skill check using Mr. Jingles Deduction skill. All checks, whether intellectual or combative, are treated as a threat challenge. For a challenge create two options, A and B. One option describes what happens if your character wins. The other describes what happens if they fail or the opponent wins.
Each option has a high or low threat level. The character's option is based on the skill being used. The opponent is usually chosen randomly by a roll of the dice. If the threats are equal, high v. high or low v. low, whichever option wins two out of three rolls is victorious. If the threats are unequal, high v. low, the high option only needs to win one roll while the low option needs to win two.
Q: Does Jingles decide to question some of the townsfolk first?
Based on Deduction (Low) skill.
What is the threat level? Roll: Low Test Between Equals. Must win two rounds.
Option A: Jingles goes into town and talks to the locals.
Option B: Jingles heads off into the woods with only the information he currently has.]
Round 1: [Roll: Option B] “Right now,” Jingles answers in response to Francois’ question about when they were going to get started. “I heard the sheriff mention some locals who live outside of town. We can check on them and possibly run into some of the chickens ourselves.
Round 2: [Roll: Option B, Jingles Deduction Skill drops a level for losing the challenge. Since it was a Low stat, it is now unusable] “Sounds like a solid plan,” Francois agrees.
Clown and Lion Tamer walk off together, heading for the road that leads out of town.
[Do the pair run into any townsfolk on the way out of the circus? No.]
Mr. Jingles and Francois walk a ways down the road until they meet up with another road branching in from the north.
[Do the pair wander from the road? Yes.]
“You know, Francois,” Jingles says. “All these creatures can avoid the road and prefer to stay hidden in the woods. I think we need to be adventurous and travel off the beaten path.”
“I think you are correct as always, Monsieur Jingles.”
[Do they head of the path A) to the right, or B) to the left? Right]
Not too far off the main road, the ground becomes a bit damp and mushy. Soon the duo finds themselves traveling among large ponds of water.
“It appears we are entering a swamp,” Francois suggests.
“I think you are correct,” Mr. Jingles agrees. “Keep your eyes open. This is exactly the type of place I would expect to see some form of monster.”
Ten minutes later they are deep within the swamp, wading through ankle-deep water. Suddenly, Mr. Jingles spots some odd critters resting on the lily pads. They are green in color and have muscular legs made for jumping, similar to toads, except that they are covered in feathers and have beaks where their mouths should be.
“Watch your step, Francois!” Jingles warns. “Look! Those toads are covered in feathers and have vicious beaks.”
“Queele horreur! Choads!”
Their home being disturbed, the choads jump at Jingles and Francois.”
[In a threat check involving a party of characters, choose one character’s skill to be representative of the entire group.
Threat Level Roll: High Threat will be against Francois’ Whip Skill (high)
Option A: Francois whips the choads and Jingles steps on them.
Option B: The choads overcome the heroes.]
Round 1: [Option B] Several choads leap upon the two and peck wildly with their beaks. Jingles swats at the creatures, but there are more than he fend off. Francois has his whip out, but can’t seem to strike any of the demonic critters.
Round 2: [Option A] However, the Lion Tamer does not panic. He has faced off against ferocious jungle cats. Compared to those majestic creatures, these choads are but a mere nuisance. Taking careful aim, Francois cracks his whip at them and sends several back into the swampy waters. Once he gets in a rhythm, he sends several toward Mr. Jingles who stomps on them with his oversized shoes.
Round 3: [Option B] Unfortunately, the victory is short lived as several more choads join in the battle and attack Francois from behind. [Francois’ whip skill is reduced to Low level.]
[Per Bivius Tunnels & Dragons rules, in a party situation if one member of the party fails another can continue the threat challenge using one of their skills. Mr. Jingles will use his bludgeon skill with his rubber chicken. High threat vs. High threat
Option A: Jingles fights off the choads with the rubber chicken
Option B: The choads overcome Mr. Jingles.]
Round 1: [Option B] Seeing that his shoes aren’t accomplishing much, Mr. Jingles pulls out his rubber chicken. His main goal is to bat away the attacking chicken/toads with the rubbery prop, but in the back of his mind he hopes the critters might think it’s a real chicken and think twice about attacking the man who did this to one of their kin. Unfortunately, none of the demonic amphibians are dissuaded from attacking.
Round 2: [Option B, really have unfriendly dice] Try as they might, clown and lion tamer are unable to fend of the attack of hoards of choads. The two are eventually overcome, beaten unconscious by the feathered toads and drug off to their nests.
When Mr. Jingles and Francois regain consciousness they find themselves each perched on a pile of choad eggs. Around them are several choads keeping watch.
“It appears, Monsieur Jingles, that we are these creatures incubators,” Francois speculates.
“I’m afraid you are correct,” the clown agrees. “And by the looks of those toads . . . uh, choads, we’re not going anywhere until these eggs hatch.”
“Ah, you forget! I am a master animal trainer.”
Jingles looks over at the other man with incredulity. “You train lions.”
“Yes,” Francois agrees. “But my talents don’t end with just felines. I have been known to command many a creature. Watch as I demonstrate.”
[Francois will attempt to converse with the choads using his animal handling skill (high stat)
Threat roll: High (Of course, now the die rolls even!)
Option A: Francois convinces the choads to let them go.
Option B: The choads keep them their prisoner.]
Round 1: [Option B] “Hello my friendly choads,” Francois begins. “You have made a big mistake. We are not one of you. We cannot sit here and hatch your eggs.”
The choads seem to pay no attention.
Round 2: [Option B] “Ribbit, ribbit!” The lion tamer starts to croak, hoping that will get their attention. The choads do not respond.
“Cluck, cluck, cluck.” Next, he tries the chicken language, also to no avail.
“Croak-a-doodle-doo!” As a last resort he tries combining the two.
“Give it up,” Jingles finally tells the lion tamer. “You can tame lions, but you don’t seem to have any influence over chicken-toads.”
“Forgive me, I have failed you,” Francois laments. “You put your faith in my skills and I have let you down.”
“Don’t fret, Francois,” Jingles assures Francois. “We are not toast yet. Give me some time to think.”
The two sit there warming the eggs for the next couple of hours until Mr. Jingles has an idea.
[Jingles will use his distraction (high) skill to try to give them a chance to escape.
Threat level = Low, the stronger option only needs to win one out of two rounds.
Option A (High) = Jingles is able to distract the choads, allowing them the opportunity to escape.
Option B (Low) = The choads are not distracted.]
Round 1: [Option B] The clown stands and all the watching choads suddenly come to attention, ready to pounce. Mr. Jingles raises his enormous clown shoe over the nest. “Come any closer, choads, and I will stomp on your eggs. I mean it!”
The ring of choads closes in.
Round 2: [Option A] As the toad-chicken creatures move in, Jingles pulls his leg back and kicks at the nest, sending the eggs flying. Fearful for their young, the choads turn their attention from Jingles and Francois and hop towards the scattered eggs.
“Run!” Jingles yells as he and the lion tamer take off into the swamp.
The choads do not give chase, too intent on retrieving the eggs kicked by the clown, and the two circus performers escape to safety.
“Ça craignait!” exclaims Francois.
“You said it!” Agrees Mr. Jingles. “And what really sucks is that we don’t have any weapons. We have to go back for your whip and my rubber chicken before we can go any further.”
Jingles and Francois make a wide arc to the east to avoid the nest of the choads and carefully make their way back to the place where they first saw the creatures.
[Are there any choads around? Roll: No.]
The place is quiet and devoid of chicken-toads. Lying in the mud are Mr. Jingles’ rubber chicken and Francois’ whip. Quietly the two emerge from their hiding place and retrieve their belongings. Once they are back in the bushes and are sure they are safe, the clown pulls back his sleeve to reveal a wristwatch that features a ridiculously large face, about twice the width of his arm.
“We only have a couple more hours until daybreak,” he tells the lion tamer. “We need to get some sleep before the Sunday matinee. Should we head back for now and try again tomorrow afternoon?”
“Oui,” Francois agrees. “I need to make sure my pets are well fed before the performance, or I may start to look like a tasty meal to them.”
In agreement, the pair make their way to the road and head back toward the circus.
[Do they meet up with wandering monsters? Roll: Yes]
As the two step out into the road, they find their way blocked by a strange-looking creature. It appears to be a man-like creature with green skin that stands about seven feet tall. He is bare-chested with muscular abs and pecs. Two pointed ears flank his bald head and short tusks poke out from his lower lip. The oddest thing about him, however, are his legs and arms. His thick legs are covered in feathers and end in chicken claws and instead of arms, he has two large chicken wings. Somehow, the chicken-orc holds a club in one of his wings.
“This doesn’t look good,” Mr. Jingles says.
“Bwaark!” the creature squawks. “Who trespasses in the Forest of Alectryon?”
“Pardon us,” says Jingles. “We were not aware that this forest was home to . . . was it Alectryon you said?”
“Enough!” barks the chicken orc. “You may live providing you make an acceptable offering to Alectryon.”
“Yes, we would be happy to oblige. What kind of offering do you require?”
“I will accept no less than two pounds of corn.”
“Hmmm. It appears we are a bit low on corn at the moment,” Mr. Jingles explains, taking a few steps closer. “But perhaps this will suffice?”
[Jingles attempts to squirt water in the chicken-orc’s eyes using his trick lapel flower. I’ll consider this using his Distraction (high) skill.
Threat level: Low
Option A (highr): Jingles squirts the chicken-orc in the eye.
Option B (low): The chicken-orc avoids the stream and attacks.]
Round 1: [Option B] Jingles sends a stream of water flying from his lapel flower, but his aim is off, hitting his opponent in the mouth.
Round 2: [Option B] The monster wipes his lips with one wing as he raises his club with the other and prepares to pulverize the intruders.
[Party fights back using Francois’ Whip skill (Low);
Threat level: Low
Option A: Chicken-orc wins
Option B: Party wins.]
Round 1: [Option B] Francois is quick with his whip and strikes his opponent square in the chest. The chicken-orc rear back from the sting.
Round 2: [Option A] But he is waylayed for but a moment. While the monster really wants to pummel the lion tamer, Jingles is closer, so he swings at the clown, hitting him squarely in the arm.
Round 3: [Option A] Mr. Jingles clutches his wounded arm with his good hand as the chicken-orc towers over him, raising his club for a killing blow.
[Jingles will counter with his kickboxing skill (Low). I will use the same threat level (Low).
[Option A] Jingles knocks down the chicken-orc.
[Option B] Jingles is beaten silly.]
Round 1: [Option A] The monster swings his club in a large arc as the clown whips out with his oversized shoe, striking his opponent in the shin.
Round 2: [Option A] The chicken-orc cries out in pain and falls to one knee.
“Run!” Mr. Jingles cries out. Before the creature can regain his footing, Jingles and Francois disappear down the road, making a beeline for the safety of the circus tents.
Read the next chapter here.
Read the next chapter here.
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