The Bachelor: A Solo Roleplay - Week 1

Disclaimer: The Bachelor: A Solo Role-Play and the game engine it is based on are fan-created projects. Neither this transcript, game engine, or anything posted on this blog is associated with The Bachelor/Bachelorette television franchise, ABC Networks, or Warner Bros. Television Distribution.

Background:

While The Bachelor is a show that, under normal circumstances, would not be on my radar, it is a show my wife enjoys watching. Therefore, I will happily spend time with her each Monday night watching and commenting on the men and women looking for love, but finding one big hot mess instead.

With the start of the current season of The Bachelorette, I thought it might be fun to create a solo game engine that simulates the events of the show and play through it with my wife. For the sake of a clean narration, assume that everything you read was dictated using random generators and interpreted or massaged by my wife and I: Names, descriptions, jobs, etc.. Any time a table or randomizer is consulted during play it will be noted in the narration. Each activity, such as a date, cocktail party, or family introduction, will offer each woman a chance to earn points. While higher scores won’t necessarily guarantee success, they will improve each woman’s chance of receiving a rose at the end of each week.

The rule system is a homebrew project that is currently under development. Once it is complete I will be happy to make it available.

WEEK 1:

Let’s meet our Bachelor. His name is John Summers and he is Radio Show Host in New York City. He is of Mediterranean heritage, standing around 6’ tall with olive skin. He has a triangular face with a pointed chin, angular grey eyes and shoulder-length, wavy black hair. He is broad-chested with strong legs and arms. His suit expresses his sense of style.

Introductions:

(For each woman two random words were generated. These words were used to create a unique introduction. Then 1d6 was rolled for John’s initial impression of her: 1-3=0 points, 4-6=1 point.)

The limousines pull up and the 25 bachelorettes begin to exit.

Woman 1: Macie P (Intro words: judge like)

Macie is short and slender with fair skin. She has blue eyes and short black hair that she wears in a buzz cut. She is a Waitress and addresses this in her introduction, telling John that she tries to guess what her customers will order based on their looks. She guesses John would order a nice, thick steak and a baked potato. He responds that he does like a good steak.

Impression: 0

Woman 2: Rosa Ritz (Intro words: eatable hate)

Rosa is just under 5’ tall with generous curves. She has caramel skin, brown eyes, and long, curly, dark brown hair. Her infographic identifies her as an “Instagram Chef”, whatever that is. She comes out wearing a chef’s coat and hat and carries a plate that displays an elaborate presentation of calamari. Unfortunately, John does not like seafood. Fortunately, he finds the gesture cute.

Impression: 1

Woman 3: Emily L (Intro words: puncture trains)

This College Math Professor certainly catches John’s eye with her tall stature, blue eyes, and shoulder length dark blonde hair. However, what really makes an impression is that she is wearing a white wedding dress complete with a long train. After a pleasant greeting, she heads off to the mansion but the dress train catches on a rose bush.  It tears as she and John try to get it free.
Impression: 0

Woman 4: Sadie P (Intro words: secretary flag)

This 5-and-a-half foot tall, dark-skinned Online Influencer exits the limo wearing a dress decorated like the American flag. She tosses back her long black hair and offers to be John’s “Secretary of Date,” mentioning something about taking dictation (wink, wink).

Impression: 1

Woman 5: Maddy Z (Intro words: depend meddle)

Maddy is tall and muscular, tanned with thick black hair and brown eyes. Back home she manages a hobby shop. During their introduction, she offers to be John’s personal spy in the house, telling him anything he wants to know about the other women.

Impression: 1

Woman 6: Jalena M (Intro words: rightful alert)

Standing as tall as John, Maddy has pink skin and straight, blonde hair that falls in a slightly messy style. She is a Car Model who knows what she wants. In fact, she is a bit aggressive in her introduction, making it clear to the bachelor that she intends to take her rightful place at his side. As she walks away, John addresses the camera and says he needs to be on alert when she is around.

Impression: 0

Woman 7: Kelly B (Intro words: flat rod)

A police car pulls up with lights and sirens blaring. Out steps a tall, leggy, dark-skinned brunette dressed in a police uniform, which is indicative of her profession as a Sheriff. She holds a riot stick in her hand and approaches John with an air of authority. She tries to make a joke about arresting his heart, but her delivery is flat. John appreciates the attempt.

Impression: 1

Woman 8: Amy N (Intro words: work drag)

This short athletic beauty has hazel eyes and long curly blonde hair that she wears in a side part. As a gift she offers the Bachelor a small worn silver coin, explaining it’s a relic she removed from an underwater wreck as part of her career as a Deep Sea Treasure Hunter.

Impression: 0

Woman 9: Christine Dukes (Intro words: pets busy)

This Aerospace Engineer is tall with fiery red hair that is cut short. Over her shoulder is a bejeweled purse that holds a small Pomeranian, the dog’s head poking out from the opening. She introduces John to her favorite pet named Busy.

Impression: 0 (Not a dog lover, perhaps)

Woman 10: Isabella P (Intro words: ten press)

This tanned muscular Student has a wild side about her. This is partially evident in the patterns shaved in her short blonde hair. She is a member of her college's women’s wrestling team and attempts to impress John by challenging him to a push-up contest. First to perform ten push-ups wins. Isabella wins, hands down, despite wearing a cocktail dress.

Impression: 0

Woman 11: Ashley V (Intro words: decisive obedient)

The almost six-foot tall tan woman exits the cab, her straight black hair falling down to her shoulders. She is a Wood Carver, but this is not evident by her appearance. Despite wearing a low-cut navy blue dress, she dons a black mask and holds a dominatrix whip. Coming up to John, she playfully “whips” him on the rump and asks if he’s interested in joining her for some “games” in the bedroom.

Impression: 1 (I guess he’s interested.)

Woman 12: Julia D (Intro words: ice glove)

Also involved in law enforcement, Julia is a 5’ tall brunette. She is elegantly dressed in a silver gown with elbow length gloves. In one arm she carries with her a filled ice bucket containing a bottle of champagne. Her free hand holds two glasses. John pops the cork and the couple toast the start of an exciting season.

Impression: 1

Woman 13: Rhonda D (Intro words: haircut undress)

Rhonda is another blonde with brown eyes and fair skin. She tells John that, being a Rancher, she is normally low maintenance. However, she went all out to prepare for her meeting with him by getting her hair done, buying a fancy dress, and even getting a Brazilian wax.

Impression: 0

Woman 14: Maddie T (Intro words: obtain happen)

This well-dressed Assistant Clothing Store Manager is short but solidly built, sporting a tuft of red hair. She carries with her a garment bag. While she doesn’t show John the contents, she informs him that it contains an expensive tux worn in a 007 film that she was able to obtain through her work. If John wants to be her James Bond, she’s sure she can make it happen.

Impression: 1

Woman 15:   Beth F (Intro words: bite sticks)

This short, brown-haired Fashion Designer stumbles over an attempt at a joke about biting the Bachelor. In the awkwardness of the moment, she fails to stick the punchline. John doesn't seem phased by this and instead gives her a hearty hug, telling her it was a good joke. Perhaps he was taken in by her British accent.

Impression: 1

Woman 16: Emma E (Intro words: industrious trouble)

This well-built woman sports short, curly brown hair and deep green eyes. She wears what at first appears to be a rather loose-fitting dress, but turns out to actually be a rather fancy Karategi, or Karate uniform. She explains to John that she teaches Karate to women and children so they can defend themselves and stay out of trouble. She goes on to warn him that if he gets out of hand and is too rough she might have to use some of her moves on him. To punctuate this, she strikes a defensive stance and puts her arms up as if she going to give him a chop.

Impression: 0

Woman 17: Heaven Bushman (Intro words: mushy sparkling)

Heaven is a tall, attractive black Real Estate Agent with frizzy hair that is drawn back in a ponytail.  She describes her favorite past-time to John as sitting with a glass of sparkling wine and watching mushy romantic comedies. Then she suggests the two of them make their own romantic movie with a happy ending.

Impression: 0

Woman 18: Maddy M (Intro words: bolt library)

This short, blonde woman has brown eyes, a solid build, and exudes a sense of power. When John asks her what she does for a living she tells him that even though she is a successful Blogger, she hopes to make a living as a traditional author. Her current project is a biography about Olympic sprinter Usain Bolt that she hopes will someday be on bookstores and library shelves all across the country.

Impression: 0

Woman 19: Regina Bell (Intro: tedious concerned)

This tall Mediterranean woman certainly makes an immediate impression as she exits the limo. Instead of a gown or dress, she wears a softball uniform. Also, her brown hair is shaved on the sides leaving only a spiked mohawk down the middle. Regina explains herself, saying she plays right field for the National Pro Fastpitch softball league and her entire team, the Canadian Wild, got mohawks as a display of team unity. Why the uniform? She was concerned that John might find dress after dress a bit tedious.

Impression: 1

Woman 20: Sydney K (Intro words: typical button)

The next bachelorette is a slender tan woman with hazel eyes and straight, dark brown hair. She tells John that she sometimes has trouble getting to know men because, being an Astrophysicist, a lot of the guys she dates can’t see past her button-down exterior. While on the show she hopes to loosen up a bit in the hopes that John will realize she’s not your typical scientist.

Impression: 0

Woman 21: Andrea J (Intro words: wrist price)

Andrea is black, dressed in a striking red dress and stands just a couple inches shorter than the Bachelor. She is a nurse and offers to take John’s pulse. He holds out his wrist for her and she checks his vitals. When she finishes, she tells him it will be a $50 copay. After a moment she laughs and says she’ll accept a date instead as payment.

Impression: 0

Woman 22: India V (Intro words: delicate cheap)

This brown skinned, black haired lady walks from the limousine in a slightly arrogant manner. This makes sense, as she comes from a wealthy family and is basically living off her father’s money. When she and the Bachelor hug, John accidentally crushes the wide-brimmed hat she is wearing. Half-jokingly (John hopes), India complains that that was an expensive hat and now he owes her. Perhaps there is some way he can pay her back, she suggests with a wink.

Impression: 0

Woman 23: Martha V (Intro words: discussion hysterical)

Diminutive with reddish-brown skin, this Inventor has brown eyes and long black hair she wears in twists. She fumbles her introduction and stumbles over her words. She’s flustered and apologizes so much she almost comes off as hysterical.

Impression: 0

Woman 24: Irene B (Intro words: deeply fantastic)

This 5-foot dark-haired woman has had an exciting life as a Travel Agent. As part of her career, she has traveled the world and mentions to John several of the fantastic, exotic places she has been.  She deeply hopes the two of them can one day visit them together. John says, “Who knows, we may visit some soon,” referring to the trips taken during the show.

Impression: 1

Woman 25: Sophia H (Intro words: fertile mine)

Stepping out of the limo, John can see that the last woman is a striking blonde with expressive blue eyes. She reveals that she is a High School Biology Teacher, adding that she would love to have John sit in on one of her Sex Education classes. Perhaps after class, he could earn some extra credit.

Impression: 1

Cocktail Party:

Now the twenty-five women get to mingle with the Bachelor. For simplicity sake, each woman will get a single opportunity to speak with John. Each encounter will earn the women -1 to 3 points. Points are determined by rolling on a weighted scale, with a score of “1” having the highest chance of being rolled, and the extremes (-1 and 3) the lowest. No information about the topic of conversation will be generated unless the woman earns a “3”. In that case, random words will be generated and an explanation derived to explain what was so impressive about her.

Results will be listed in the following manner:

Name:  (Cocktail Party Score) + (Impression) = (Total Points)

Marcie P:    0 + 0 = 0 Total

Rosa Ritz:   1 + 1 = 2 Total

Emily L:     2 + 0 = 2 Total

Sadie P:   1 + 1 = 2 Total

Maddy Z:    1 + 1 = 2 Total

Jalena M:   (-1) + 0 = (-1) Total

Kelly B:    1 + 1 = 2 Total

Amy N:      0 + 0 = 0 Total

Christina Dukes: 1 + 0 =   1 Total

Isabella P:   1 + 0 = 1 Total

Ashley V:   1 + 1 = 2 Total

Julia D:   0 + 1 = 1 Total

Rhonda D:   2 + 0 = 2 Total

Maddie T:   1 + 1 = 0 Total

Beth F: 2 + 1 = 3 Total

Emma E:   2 + 0 = 2 Total

Heaven Bushman: 1 + 0 = 1 Total

Maddy M:   1 + 0 = 1 Total

Regina Bell:   0 + 1 = 1 Total

Sydney K:   0 + 0 = 0 Total

Andrea J:   1 + 0 = 1 Total

India V:   2 + 0 = 2 Total

Martha V:   2 + 0 = 2 Total

Irene B:   2 + 1 = 3 Total

Sophia H:   0 + 1 = 1 Total

First Impression Rose:

The first impression rose goes to the woman with the highest score, using a randomizer to decide ties. The first impression rose goes to:

Beth F. (I guess John was “bitten” by the love bug.)

Rose Ceremony:

This week five women will be going home. In this game, high scores do not guarantee roses, nor does a low score necessarily doom a bachelorette to elimination. Instead, accumulated points affect their chance of receiving a rose. Each woman will roll 1d6 on a table. The more points they have, the lower the number they need to meet or beat to receive a rose.

After all the women have rolled, if more or less than five women have not received roses, additional roses are awarded or taken away until exactly five have been eliminated. This decision is based on each woman’s total points. For example, if six women do not have roses, the woman with the most points among those six will end up getting a rose. Alternatively, if fewer than five women are without roses, the lowest scoring woman among those who were awarded roses will have her’s taken away. Ties are resolved with a randomizer.

The women who receive roses are (in no particular order):

Beth F. (first impression rose)

Emily L

Maddie T

Kelly B

Emma E

Julia D

Maddy Z

Rhonda D

Rosa Ritz

India V

Andrea J

Sophia H

Martha V

Ashley V

Isabella P

Heaven Bushman

Maddy M

Sadie P

Irene B

And the final rose of the evening:

Regina Bell

Women who did not receive roses and are going home:

Jalena M

Macie P

Amy N

Sydney K

Christina Dukes

Thank you for reading Week 1 of The Bachelor Solo Roleplay.

(Read Week 2 here.)