Monday, September 20, 2010

Court TV

Today I was planning on blogging about my son’s high school robotics team event I attended this weekend, complete with an explanation as to why I spent a good deal of my time at the event searching for discarded Powerade bottles. (Trust me, what follows is much more interesting.) But then I read this story about a prison inmate suing the Kardashian sisters. Apparently, this con feels he’s been permanently scarred by being forced to watch the "abuse" and "racism" present in their reality television shows, and now he wants to be financially compensated for it.

For starters, the Kardashian’s are not the ones in control of the prison television set. If anyone is "forcing" inmates to watch a particular show is would be the prison employees and if anyone is going to be sued it should be them. Still, just because the television is on doesn’t mean the inmate has to actually pay attention to it. I’m sure he could find some other activity to engage in: have a conversation, read a book, plan an escape, start a riot, etc. Anyway, I don’t see this legal action going very far.

But let’s suppose he has a case and actually wins! Can you imagine the various suits that might follow.

  • A man sues Ask This Old House for property damage when, after viewing a segment on plumbing, he tries to upgrade his bathroom sink but ends up busting a pipe and flooding his entire home, ruining carpets, furniture and various high end electronic devices.

  • An unemployed office worker sues House Hunters for mental anguish because he must endure watching couple after couple live out the "American Dream" of buying a new home while he is facing the painful experience of losing his home to foreclosure.

  • A man arrested for DUI sues the National Football League for broadcasting games on Sunday, thus requiring him to spend the entire day at the local Hooters, drinking beer, eating wings and eventually driving home drunk.

  • A depressed single woman sues Mike Fleiss, producer of The Bachelor, after she is turned down for a spot on show, because everyone knows that competing against twenty-four other women for the affections of a handsome single man by going on dates that most people couldn’t afford without the backing of a major network is the absolute best way to find that perfect, faithful husband.

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